Why I run.

I am training for a ½ marathon in the fall.  2 ½ marathons to be exact.  I decided to run 2 half marathons 2 weeks apart when I must have been having a lapse in judgment.  Because now the idea of that is overwhelming and affecting how I feel about running.

I began running about 12 years ago and did it regularly for about 2 years.  I started running because I’d had enough of paying for gym memberships and not using them because I hated “having” to work out.  At that time I decided to get my exercise doing things I enjoyed on my own time.  I got back into soccer and joined several teams which led to ultimate Frisbee teams and floor hockey teams.  I was in good shape and having fun!  Running also became important and fun to me.  I loved the results of it and never felt better as when I was running.

I left running for about 10 years when I started walking dogs for a living.  The dog walks were my exercise.  I tried to start back up a couple of times over the years but I never had the motivation and never stuck with it.  But a year ago I convinced Kate to start running and to register for a few races to keep us going.  My ultimate goal was to do the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers this year.  It was a slow start for me because of my schedule last summer, but I was happy to be running again and the results were immediate – I lost weight and felt great about myself!  Then we trained for the Winterman Half Marathon in February and it was a challenge at times in the winter to run in the snow and ice, but it felt great to rise to the challenge and we finished the race.  But once we were done I was happy to go back to running with no schedule.  No plan.  No distances.  And then I had to go and register for 2 ½ marathons back to back.

Fast forward to today.  I’m having a very hard time mentally training for these half marathons.  I remember feeling the pressure at the end of the last ½ training schedule to stick with it and I’m feeling that same pressure now.  My goals to keep me running seem to actually be working against me. I’m struggling with meeting the training plan and finding the time to enjoy the other things I like about summer.  So I’m re-examining why I run.  Do I run to challenge myself and beat my PB’s?  Or do I run to stay in shape, drink beer and eat fries guilt free?  Do I run to spend time with my friends and exercise my dogs?  Or do I run to race in organized events?  Am I struggling because of the heat?  Or am I struggling because it’s just not fun anymore?  These last few weeks I’ve learned a few things about myself and what I want to get out of running.  I have a friend who runs regularly and never races.  She has no interest in it.  I’m beginning to see why.

I enjoy running because it is free and I can do it on my own schedule.  I started running as a way to exercise doing something I enjoy without the pressures of feeling the need to run because I had spent money on it.  Right now I feel like I’m running because I registered for the ½ marathons which in total cost me $175 and if I bail, I’m out $175. But is that reason to stick with something I’m not enjoying?  I don’t think so, not for me anyway.  Anything I do to exercise I want to do because I enjoy it, not because I feel like I have to.

I enjoy running because I enjoy the results.  My legs feel strong, I easily and quickly lose weight while running, my general health is better, I eat better and when I want to eat junk I don’t feel guilty about it. 

I enjoy running because I like the social aspect of it.  I like talking about running with my runner friends.  I like going for runs with friends and catching up on life.  I love running with my dogs.  I like being a “runner”.  It makes me feel good about myself.

I enjoy running because it gets me outside, winter or summer, rain or shine, snow or wind.  I generally run in all conditions and feel strong because of it – like I can do anything.  I get to enjoy the beautiful countryside and city that I live in in a different way than I would by not running.

I enjoy running because I can get inside my head and problems because less of a problem after a run, and life seems to be less challenging after a run.  Endorphins are a good thing to help with my state of mind.  Running has gotten me through break ups with boyfriends and challenges with my business.  Sometimes I just want to run to change my state of mind, and it works.

I enjoy running because I can run a quick 3K if that is all I have time for, or a 10K if I have the time and the energy.  Both can seem easy, and both can seem a challenge, depending on the day.

I enjoy running because I do enjoy race day.  I like the atmosphere of being a part of something bigger than myself.  I like the accomplishment of completing the race.  But I think that I need to stick to distances 10K or less.  Those seem to be my comfort zone.  I like 10K.

I enjoy running.  What I don’t enjoy is training.  I don’t enjoy the pressure of training.  The need to have a good pace.  The need to go farther, faster, stronger.  The inability to enjoy other things because I have to save my energy for running.  I don’t rollerblade, ski, etc. because I either don’t have the time or I don’t have the energy after all of my training runs. I don’t enjoy having to run 6K when I only feel like doing 4K.  Training sucks.

So tonight I decided to take the training pressure off of myself.  While it is supposed to be contributing to my exercise through the training schedule, I actually find it is inhibiting me.  I can’t get the mental energy up to stick with the schedule.  It is stressing me out.  And it is no fun.  All I can think about when I'm running is when it will be over and how much I hate running.  So the pressure is off.  If I feel up to running the ½ marathons in the fall then I will.  And if I don’t I won’t.  But only time will tell.

Now, I’m going to have a beer.

The Porcupine Incident

It was one of the first beautiful days of the summer.  The perfect weather for a dog walk in my favourite local conservation area.  So Taylor Ann, one of my employees who lives near by, and I took her 2 dogs and my 4 dogs to the park for a walk.  We were just commenting on how beautiful and peaceful it was, when things changed in an instant!

This park is a beautiful wooded park with lots of water and walking trails.  My dogs are great at staying fairly close by, but with huskies and their strong prey drive, I never know when they are going to follow a scent or chase a wild animal of some kind.  I had noticed that 3 of them - Trey, Sura and Jackson - were all suddenly in the trees running circles around a fallen tree.  Abby, being the good, slow, sniffing girl that she is, was no where near them.  I first thought that they had likely found a squirrel and were having some fun with it before it would dash up a tree, but then Trey barked.  Trey NEVER barks, unless he has found a live animal that he wants to chase/kill.  Once I heard him bark I took the situation a bit more seriously and followed them into the trees.  Sure enough, the three of them were chasing something and circling around and around while whatever it was had taken cover under the fallen tree.  Then Sura suddenly leaped over the tree and picked up the animal and I saw her shake it back and forth in her mouth several times... then Trey tried to grab it from her.  She then dropped it, and both of them actually left it alone once I got there.  They ran off and I took a look to find what I thought was a baby raccoon - it had raccoon teeth.  I told Taylor Ann they had killed the poor little thing, and was just thinking of how I could discard it so that they couldn't get it again.  I wasn't even thinking about the dogs at this point because the situation seemed to be over.  Nope!

I decided to put the baby in a bag and carry it out of the park to throw it in a garbage bin.  When I went to pick it up, I got a quill in my thumb.  It then hit me... this is a baby porcupine! At the same time Taylor Ann says "I think Sura has quills in her mouth."  Sure enough... there was Sura pawing at her pretty face and trying desperately to get the quills out.  I left the baby to try to get her because I knew with way she picked it up, this was going to be bad.  And then I saw Sura swim... for the first time ever.  She kept going back into the water and swimming around, diving her face into the water because it hurt her so much.  My poor girl!  Her mouth, tongue and muzzle were FULL of quills.  This was bad.  Very bad.  All I could think about was how far we were from the car.  After several attempts, I was finally able to loop a leash over her head and get her out so that I could keep a hold of her until we could get out of the park.  I knew Jackson and Trey weren't as bad but was concerned about Trey because I saw him grab the baby from Sura's mouth.  So I gave Sura to Taylor Ann to hold onto and tried to catch Trey.  Around and around and around the tree we went - he did not want to be caught.  They were obviously distressed and didn't get that I was trying to help them.  I finally got close enough to him to grab his tail and I held on so that he would stay still and I got him on a leash.  Phew!  All that took a good 10 minutes... and Sura was still pawing at her face.

I gave Trey to Taylor Ann and asked her to walk him out of the park, and I took Sura.  Abby and Jackson stayed off leash and kept up with us.  A minor miracle from slow poke Abby but I think she knew something was not good.  It took us 30 minutes of hauling ass without actually running to get out of the park.  I don't think I've ever been so thankful for all of my conditioning from my runs.  Taylor Ann was struggling as she had Trey and her dog on a leash and they kept tying her up in trees!  But we managed to get out of the path in the woods and onto the main path that is easier to walk on.  Poor Sura - I had to practically strangle her to keep her head away from her paws and keep her walking.  I had called my vet and told them we were on our way and as usual... they were gracious and said to come right over.

The drive to the vet was fun!  I tried to hold onto Sura who was half in the back seat and half in the front, so that I could control how much she was pawing her face.  It was a stuggle at first, but then she gave up and just rested her head on the door, panting.  I felt so bad for her and got to the vet as quickly as I could.  I knew she would have to be sedated but wasn't sure about Trey and Jackson.  With a quick look at them before I left the park I could see they both had quills, but only a couple of dozen each. I was hoping they'd let us take them out without sedation.  Nope!

As soon as we got to the vet they took Sura and sedated her right away.  She was distressed, had blood on her face and paws by now, and quills in her paws from scratching at her face.  She couldn't close her mouth she had so many quills!  It was determined that Jackson and Trey also needed sedation because of where the quills were.  So at 3:15 pm, over an hour after it happened, I left them and took Abby home to wait for the phone call that they were done.

Home is very quiet with only Abby and Oscar.  I think Abby was thinking "Finally - got rid of those 3! I knew it would happen!"

At 7:30 pm I hadn't heard from the vet yet but I knew they closed at 8 so I left to pick up my kids.  I've never seen such dopey dogs - Trey and Jackson were definitely stoned!  They could barely give me a "hello" and jump in the car.  But Sura - it was like nothing had happened! It took 2 people 40 minutes to take over 200 quills out of her muzzle and mouth and she came bouncing out of the clinic and was happy to see me.  She even wanted to play with a toy when we got home.  That dog is incredible! 

I know what you are thinking... what was the vet bill???  I was worried about the same thing and assumed it would be about $1000 for all three dogs.  But not once was I angry or upset with my dogs.  I've had people ask me if I was mad about the situation, and if I would not let my dogs off leash again, and if in that moment I wondered to myself "why do I have dogs?".  And honestly I can say that not once was I mad or did I consider not going back to that park.  I have good dogs.  I have healthy dogs.  And I have 4 dogs that need to run.  I have very few vet bills for my dogs.  I've chosen a life style that includes long walks with my dogs in the woods. I've chosen high energy dogs (well, except for Abby :) who have a high prey drive and I know whenever I let them of leash in a wooded area, I'm taking the chance of an encounter with wildlife that may end up with a vet bill.   And the bill was only $727.  Incredible!  I love this vet clinic - they only do what is necessary, they have reasonable prices, and they are always very friendly.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not happy that was a $727 walk, but it could have been worse.  And I'm sure some day it may happen again.

The next day I dropped my cell phone and cracked the screen.  I was WAY more pissed off about the $50 to fix that than my vet bill.

I love my dogs.

Country running

Kate and I have been training for a half marathon.  Yes, it is January and we realize we are crazy.  But we needed a goal to keep us running through the winter.  Sunday mornings are reserved for our long runs that we always do together.  Often I go into the city to run around the canal or along the river by her place but as our runs get longer and longer, it is getting difficult to find complete cleared paths that don't involve pedestrians and puddles.  This week Kate offered to come out to the farm for a long run and since the roads were clear, I was happy to have her!  Also, when we run out here I can take Jackson which he absolutely loves!  He has become my little running buddy.  I have started calling him my "performance enhancing dog" because I always run faster when I'm with him. And when Trey is with me too I practically fly!

Sunday morning we had 16K to complete and I mapped out a nice country "block" that was 16K door to door.  Great for the psychological aspect of our run.  We started off nicely with Jackson running along beside me - it was sunny and quite a nice day despite a bit of a wind we were running into.  But we managed to go a route where we'd be with the wind on the way back and there is no way to avoid it so we buckled down and kept up a good pace.  That is until we rounded a corner onto County Rd. 29... out of nowhere a border collie shows up.  Beautiful dog who started running down the other side of the road from us but clearly following us.  He was on the inside of a fence so we weren't too worried but as we came up to the next house he came out to the end of that driveway.  Just as I said to Kate "wow, he is well trained staying on the property" he of course decided to dash across the road to greet Jackson.  Now, Jackson is not the best with all dogs, especially if he feels stressed which he would on leash.  He did fine at first but then the dog was showing signs of dominance and Jackson gave a growl.  I keep Jackson tied around my waste so I couldn't even hand him to Kate while I tried to deal with this dog.  But I managed to grab the border collie by the collar and keep him off of Jackson and Jackson stayed very calm and controlled - thank goodness because it could have gone the other way!  Kate, being a farm girl herself who grew up with border collies and loose country dogs, had no problem taking him back across the road where we hoped he would stay.  Nope.  Of course not.  He was having way too much fun and came back for another go at Jackson.  Kate again took him across to the driveway and yelled at the house but no one came out so she tried to tell him to stay and started running to join me.  To my surprise, I thought he was going to stay but as soon as Kate was a certain distance away from him, he started running towards us again.  So... again Kate takes him across to the other side of the road, put him in a down, and told him to stay.  No luck.  He had lost interest in Jackson but he really wanted to join us on our run.  So he just started running down the side of the road, then across to our side to run along with us, then back to the other side and so on and so on.  Now, we are on a busy country road and Kate and I could see what was going to happen.  This dog was obviously going to get hit by a car and there wasn't much we could do about it.  Being dog lovers, we both felt sick about this but also quite helpless.

Then it happened.  A car coming towards us moved into the far lane to give us room as polite country drivers do.  Unfortunately, he was so busy watching us that he didn't see Mr. Border Collie on the other side of the road run completely in front of his car.  As we yelled "stop", the right side of the car and wheel clipped the dog who screeched and rolled.  The dog then took a second to stand there stunned and then ran back from where he came from!  And being a border collie he was fast and there was no way we could see if he was ok.  He looked ok, and by the way he ran he seemed ok, but I know dogs and shock sets in allowing him to not feel any pain, and he could have had internal damage.  This poor man driving the car felt terrible!  He pulled over and I went over to talk to him.  By this time 3-4 other cars had approached and stopped as well but the dog was gone and there was nothing anyone could do.  I explained to the man what happened and he was beside himself about hitting the dog.  But as the dog was gone, we all went on our way.

The rest of our run was drama free thank goodness.  We managed to make great time even with all that happening.  And I was so proud of Jackson for keeping his cool during the whole thing.

After getting home I decided to drive back there to find the dog and where he lived to tell his owners what happened.  I was able to find him at the first house he ran out from - still loose outside!  He was very excited to see me - jumped all over me as I walked up to the house.  Beautiful, friendly dog and it would be a shame for him to get hit seriously by a car.  I spoke to both owners who were shocked at how far he had chased us and that he had been hit.  The lady's response... "I guess we should keep him in the pen.".  You think???  He's a young border collie who wants to chase and herd things... you think he's just going to stay on your property???  They were grateful I told them what had happened and I can only hope that they took him to a vet to get him checked out and make sure he is ok.  If he wasn't a border collie I would have invited him to camp! (people who know me will understand that... )

I love country running and I like running in Ottawa.  Both have advantages, but loose dogs are one big disadvantage of running in the country.  I think that when I do go further from home now that I'll carry an extra leash with me.  Might save us some unnecessary drama!